Although I’ve given myself a very difficult time over what has happened in the last year, and I would never qualify myself as the best mom in the room, there are some things that I really like about myself as a mom.
1. I love to laugh. I love it when my kids laugh. I love when we laugh together. There is nothing more fun to me in the world than when one of my kids does or says something funny, I laugh at them, they laugh at me laughing, and my two year old, five year old and I wind up in a good ole fashioned giggle fest. I love it that I can enjoy their silliness. It reminds all of us to chill out and not to sweat the small stuff! I don’t know what I would have done after I lost my baby Kathryn if my two year old had not kept me laughing non stop.
2. Dance parties! Yep. My kids, husband, and I have them. At every opportunity we “bust a move” to all kinds of genres of music. We dance around the living room and my kids show off their favorite “rad moves.” I show them a thing or two as well! I am pleased to say that my kids seem to have the same eclectic taste in music as I do, and disheartened to say they have my awkward dancing ability. We bust a move to anything from Veggie Tales to Black Eyed Peas to Pink!, Will Smith, some hard rock to Jack Johnson. You never know what might pop up on the playlist!
3. I’m raising self confident girls into self assured women. More than anything I want my daughters to be OK with who they are. I want them to not only hear but to believe that they are beautiful, smart, and capable of doing anything they want to do. I pray there is never a moment in their lives that they settle for something because they feel that they don’t deserve it or aren’t good enough. They can have, do, become whatever they want. I will never tell them differently, although I will always do my best to make sure they learn the tools they need to succeed. I tell my girls every day that they are beautiful, they are smart, and I love them. These are things they will never doubt.
4. I chose my kids. Staying home with kids is not for everyone, and this is certainly not to say that women who are working (due to their own circumstances or choice) do NOT choose their kids, but in my case, it was a choice. For quite awhile I did not believe staying home was for me and was definitely more difficult than working in many ways. I had a very rewarding, successful, challenging career, but a part of me always wanted to be the soccer mom, the classroom mom, the mom that always chaperones the field trips… thanks to a supportive husband and a big tightening of the belt, I was able to leave my job to be with my kids. Little did I know in the next year I would get pregnant with identical twins, run into serious complications due to Twin to Twin Transfusion, be hospitalized three times (the third time keeping me away from my then four year old and 22 month old for five weeks) and then ultimately lose one of the babies two days after they were born. That experience made me realize exactly how precious these little ones are to me and certainly drove home the point that I made the right decision to leave my career.
5. I take time for myself. Although I enjoy being home with my kids, everyone needs a break. I realize that “me” time, and more importantly, “me” time with good friends is important to my mental and emotional well being. My husband and I also try to maintain a date night, because we know that “us” time is so important to a healthy marriage. Taking the time to do fun things and to get away with my friends from time to time has kept me sane and allows me to not completely lose myself in my kids. In turn, I believe this makes me a better mom.
What do you know? It’s not so hard to find some things I like about myself as a mother after all…