• Who is Kat Biggie?
    • My Other Sites
  • Kathryn’s Story
  • My Books
    • Lose the Cape
    • Meltdowns Book
  • Products I Recommend
    • Product Reviews
    • Book Reviews
  • My Writing Elsewhere…
    • My Writing
    • I Have Guest Posted Here!
    • Advertise/PR
    • Disclosure Policy
    • Find Me Here!

No Holding Back

Living With Purpose

  • Momvocate
    • Children’s Health
    • Motherhood
    • March of Dimes
    • activism
    • Call to Action
    • ADD/ADHD
    • TTTS
    • Maternal Health
    • Newborn Health
    • Prematurity
    • Do Good Feel Good
      • Philanthropy
      • Social Good
  • Healthy Body
    • Children’s Health
    • Health
      • Gluten Free
      • Recipes
    • Fitness
    • Healthy Environment
      • green living
    • TTTS
  • Healthy Mind
    • Healthy Mind
    • Depression
    • Healthy Spirit
  • Grief/Bereavement Support
    • grief
      • Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month
    • infant loss

Comfortably Numb

May 3, 2015 By katbiggie 8 Comments

Is there anybody in there?

Sometimes I wonder myself.

Every time I hear the song “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd, it puts me in a trance. My mind wanders off to a time when life was simpler. A warm spring Sunday in college, when my boyfriend and I lounged lazily on the couch and absorbed the bizarreness that is “The Wall” by Pink Floyd. I don’t have to drink or do drugs to be lulled into a state of bliss by this music. It’s psychedelic on its own accord.

Even now when I hear that song, I find myself back on that day. I can still feel the warm breeze that flapped the curtains in the small rental house. I still remember the sensation of being content and snuggled up on that soft couch. Completely relaxed.

No responsibilities, no real struggles, no understanding of pain and loss.

We weren’t thinking about families, babies, life.

We weren’t thinking about saying goodbye to a precious child.

Our thoughts revolved around that day only. Simplicity.

Thinking of that time, of that life, of that girl, I wonder if it was all a dream.

We grew up. We went our separate ways. We married other people and started lives. And I never think about him or that time except when I hear this song. Simple life, when I really had no idea what the song meant, or what it would mean to me. Now, in this time, I know what it means to be comfortably numb.

I have become comfortably numb.

I have found a place where, be it through alcohol or friends, or keeping myself so busy I don’t have time to acknowledge their may be pain lingering, I can hide from my pain … and I am okay with that.

I function through my day. I live my life. I am happy. But I am numb. And to me, that is survival.

It has been over three years since I suffered as I held my two day old infant as she returned to God. And for many, that may seem like enough time to have moved on. On many days, I have moved on. But I haven’t left her behind.

I miss her. Every. Day. I. Miss. Her.

I have become comfortably numb.

Many others are not. Many are still stuck in a place so painful, that the thought of breathing physically hurts. To them, I pledge my empathy. My support. Because dear mother, while you may be hurting, there will be a day when you will either be happy or comfortably numb, or both.

And until them, I am here for you. Even while my heart is comfortably numb, I have room for you.

international bereaved mothers day

 

 

 

Related Posts

  • You’ve come a long way babyYou’ve come a long way baby
  • Finding Joy After LossFinding Joy After Loss
  • October 15th 2015 – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness DayOctober 15th 2015 – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day
  • Rare Bird… Rare Bird…
  • The long awaited “Kathryn” Molly BearThe long awaited “Kathryn” Molly Bear
  • The long awaited "Kathryn" Molly BearThe long awaited "Kathryn" Molly Bear
  • Author
  • Recent Posts

katbiggie

Freelance writer at Kat Biggie Press
Alexa B, who blogs as "Kat Biggie" is a wife, mother, and writer. She has three children and one in heaven. She recently self published a book entitled "Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother" which is available on Amazon. She blogs about life after the loss of one of her twin daughters to TTTS, motherhood, all things parenting, advocacy, grief support and social good.

Latest posts by katbiggie (see all)

  • What to say when a baby dies ; words of comfort - October 31, 2019
  • Try listening to her, not fixing her – October 15th - October 15, 2019
  • Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Book Bundle - October 3, 2019

katbiggie on Google+

Related

Filed Under: grief, infant loss Tagged With: Grief, healing, International Bereaved Mother's Day, loss

Comments

  1. Janine Huldie says

    May 3, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Aw, hugs Alexa and truly cannot begin to imagine. Thinking of you today and always, my friend <3
    Janine Huldie recently posted…In Reality (Super) Moms Lose the CapeMy Profile

    Reply
    • katbiggie says

      May 3, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      Such a sweet, patient, devoted friend you are Janine. Thank you so much. xoxo

      Reply
  2. Shann says

    May 3, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Thank you for being there and for all you do, Alexa. Your book and your words have been so helpful to way too many of my friends. Sending hugs and love on this day especially.
    Shann recently posted…Fridays and FundraisersMy Profile

    Reply
    • katbiggie says

      May 3, 2015 at 1:20 pm

      Thanks Shann. I appreciate you listening and your friendship.

      Reply
  3. Sue says

    May 3, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    No number of years could ever be enough to “move on”.

    Reply
  4. Tamara says

    May 3, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    Thinking of you a lot.
    Something strange. I was waiting in the car for Cassidy to get groceries because Des was napping. I opened up my Bloglovin app and “Comfortably Numb” came on the radio. Then your post was on top.
    Very strange!
    Tamara recently posted…Some Buddy That I Used To Know.My Profile

    Reply
  5. another jennifer says

    May 11, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Love you, my friend. You are such a strong inspiration for women who have lost a child. I have no doubt these past few days have been hard. Thinking of you. xo

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. International Bereaved Mother's Day ... Comfortably Numb - Sunshine After the Storm says:
    May 3, 2015 at 10:10 am

    […] Continue reading here. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You Liked These Best

  • Words To Say When A Baby DiesWords To Say When A Baby Dies If you're here, you're probably struggling for the right words…
  • From Couch to 10K in one month!From Couch to 10K in one month! Yes, you read that right. Couch to 10K in one…
  • Let Them GrieveLet Them Grieve My husband hit it right on the head today. "I…
  • Does preschool really need to be a fashion show?Does preschool really need to be a fashion show? Every day we walk into preschool and I try to…
  • I Did Not Medicate my Child Because I am a "Lazy Parent" - Recognizing Signs of Mental Health Issues in ChildrenI Did Not Medicate my Child Because I am a… Mental Health Issues in Children are a Real Issue May…

Don’t Miss a Post!

If You Enjoyed This, Please Sign Up for my Posts (It's Free!)

Find me here!

Facebook

Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Follow me on Instagram

Instagram

The Mother of All Meltdowns

Encouragement for Grieving Mothers

Get Sponsored by Big Brands

What You Said

  • katbiggie on Stories from the TTTS Trenches {Jackalyn and Alexa}
  • Marsha on Stories from the TTTS Trenches {Jackalyn and Alexa}
  • Liveitthebest on I Did Not Medicate my Child Because I am a “Lazy Parent” – Recognizing Signs of Mental Health Issues in Children
  • Trans4orm on Garcenia Cambogia: Miracle Weight Loss Solution??
  • Alden Smith on 6 sites with fun activities for kids

Search

Advocacy baby loss babyloss books children children's health depression Encouragement FEATURED Fitness Grief grieving mothers guest posts healing health infant loss Kathryn love March for Babies March of Dimes Mental Health Miscarriage Mom Connection mommy blog mommy blogs mommyblogs motherhood Mothers Day Neonatal intensive care unit NICU Novel Publicity Novel Publicity Blog Tours organization Preemie Pregnancy Preterm birth TTTS TTTS Angels TTTS Survivors Twin twinless twin twins Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Uncategorized writing
 photo Picture44_zps250d112f.png


I'm a featured blogger on Mamapedia Voices

Categories

Blogger Babes Influencer Network

Are You Writing a Book?

Shot at Life

Shot@Life Join the Movement

I Recommend… (Affiliates)

SAVE TIME AND MONEY WITH EMEALS MEAL PLANS Ebates Coupons and Cash Back
BundleoftheWeek.com, 5 eBooks for $7.40!

Affiliates


Copyright © 2025 · Tricked out by Fabulous Blogging · WordPress · Log in