TTTS Tuesday - The Story of Two Angels Allanah and Liz

I have added a page to my blog – the How Can I Help? page. If you are so motivated, please visit after reading Liz’s story.

I want to thank Liz so very much for sharing her story. The last couple of TTTS Tuesdays have highlighted stories with happy endings. Sadly, in many cases of TTTS the outcome is not so happy. Sometimes even with the laser surgery, the babies do not make it. We remember Allanah and Liz, precious TTTS angels.

Allanah and Liz’s Story

It was 4 months since we had lost our little boy Liam at 13 weeks when we found out we were pregnant again. I was excited but so scared aswell. It wasn’t until 8 weeks we found out we were having identical twins. I was in shock but I thought it was a miracle. I googled as much as I could on identical twins and was very concerned with all of the complications they could have because they shared a placenta.

I went for my 12 week scan with the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist and after over an hour of scanning I knew they were a little concerned. They said there was a bit of a size difference between the babies and Allanah (the bigger one) had alot more fluid around her. This wasn’t a shock to me because I had done alot of reading about what this means. She said that it could be an early onset of Twin to Twin Transfusion syndrome or possibly Selected growth restriction. She said they would keep a close eye on me but there is nothing they can do until about 17 weeks when they can possible do surgery on the placenta to separate the blood vessels connecting the girls. They made another appointment for 2 weeks time. It was the longest 2 weeks of my life but I was having twice a week scans with my GP so I knew they were still OK.

At 14 weeks I was told that things had progressed and the fluid and size difference was getting bigger. At this stage they couldn’t measure the blood flow because they were too small. I was told to prepare for the worst that I might loose 1 or both even before my next checkup at 16 weeks. I burst into tears it wasn’t the news we were hoping for and how do you prepare yourself for something like that.

At 16 weeks they still had strong heartbeats but the size difference between them now was about 30% and Liz had barley any fluid around her. The blood flow tests showed they were sharing blood vessels and Liz was pushing alot of her blood to Allanah which is causing the extra fluid and possible heart failure. There was still nothing they could do at this gestation all we could do was pray for a miracle. They were fighters to have made it this far.

At 18 weeks I went in hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I knew they were still ok as I had had 4 scans with my GP but Liz also had not even 1 cm of fluid around her by this stage. I was hoping they could do surgery ASAP. Instead the doctor just said it was BAD. He didn’t explain anything or give me any hope. I left distraught I wasn’t ready to give up on my babies so why should he. I went to my GP and said I wanted a second opinion I needed some hope so she referred me to a private specialist. He managed to fit me in that day and after 3 hours with him he gave me some hope. He said as long as there was life there was hope but I would need the surgery within a week so to go to my next appointment at the hospital and see what they said. I was lucky enough to get a DVD of the hour ultrasound and a DVD with several 3D images. It was my birthday this day so this was the best birthday present ever to finally have some hope.

It was 19 weeks and 2specialists had scanned me for over an hour and a half. Finally they said I needed surgery. They didn’t want to wait too long and I booked in for surgery in 2 days time. I was so scared I knew this was their last chance. I knew there were risks but I had to do it. I packed my bags the night before and got no sleep that night.

It was the 19^th of July 2012 and i was being prepped for surgery. It took just over an hour and a half and I was told it went well they cut off 2 very big vessels and 5 smaller ones that were connecting the girls. It was going to be a few weeks though to see if it was successful. I was in alot of pain and so tired. I had alot of contractions afterwards which was normal and I was given medication to stop them. Two days later I was allowed to come home and go back in a few days to see how things were going. I had been home for 1 night and I started having contractions again. I didn’t think too much of it but they didn’t stop. I thought I better go to the hospital and get checked out I might need more medication to stop them. I had an internal done to check that my cervix wasn’t dilating. There was a bit of blood and the doctor said it wasn’t good but they would do a proper scan and have a good look. The doctor that did my surgery came and did the scan and internal ultrasounds to check my cervix. He told me it was long and closed so that was a good sign but wanted to admit me to give me medication to stop the contractions and keep an eye on me.

I had alot of visitors throughout the day, the contractions weren’t stopping but weren’t getting any worse. My girls were kicking me and my family and friends could even feel them. That night about 6:30pm my husband and sister were there. My sister helped me to have a shower and the pain was horrible. The pressure was unbearable and I could hardly stand. I was now getting 4 contractions a minute. The midwife called a doctor and after another internal examination she told me i was 5 centimetres dilated and I needed to get to birth suites. I screamed, this couldn’t be happening.

We got down to birth suites and I told myself i had to stay strong to try and get through the labour. I had never been in so much pain. (I laboured with me son for 20 hours before having any drugs) and this was so different. I was screaming and screaming and thought how am I going to do this. The girls were born at 9:42pm on the 22/7/12.

Allanah was alive and lived for 1 hour and 14 minutes and weighed 322 grams ; Liz wasn’t strong enough to make it through labour and only weighed 136 grams . We just held them and cried. I was shaking uncontrollably they midwife thought it was because of the drugs but my temperature was over 40 degrees. I then started bleeding alot I was soaking the bed every 10 minutes they thought they would have to take me to surgery. I had a very bad infection. I lost over a litre and a half of blood and wasn’t well. I didn’t care I just wanted my girls. Luckily the bleeding slowed and I didn’t have to go to surgery. We spent 3 days in hospital and I was able to have my girls with me the whole time. We got hundreds of photos and lots of special cuddles. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I have ever done.

We started organizing the funeral when we got home. We knew we wanted something private and we wanted the girls ashes brought home. We have them now in a teddy bear a locket that I’ll never take off. Unfortunately 2 days after I was discharged my infection got worse and I was loosing chunks of placenta. I ended up in surgery to remove what they had left in me. Going back to the hospital was so hard and this time my girls weren’t with me.

Its been almost 3 months since I lost my girls. I miss them so much and wish they were here but feel some peace knowing they are together. We have many photos around our house and have just finished their memory shelves. My little boy knows he has 2 little sisters that live in heaven.

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katbiggie

Freelance writer at Kat Biggie Press

Alexa B, who blogs as "Kat Biggie" is a wife, mother, and writer. She has three children and one in heaven. She recently self published a book entitled "Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother" which is available on Amazon. She blogs about life after the loss of one of her twin daughters to TTTS, motherhood, all things parenting, advocacy, grief support and social good.