My husband and I made vows to take care of each other in sickness and in health, til death do us part… but never imagined that we would face the sickness and death of our infant daughter Kathryn. A marriage is tested day in and day out but the stress placed on my husband and me during my hospitalization and our journey ending in the birth of twins at 30 weeks and 5 days, only to lose one of them two days later, tested our relationship more than anything in the last 9 years of marriage.
More than the stress of five back to back deployments when we were both active duty military, more than the stress of over two years of separation while we were stationed apart from each other, more than the transition from military to civilian life, more than adjusting to life as parents, more than adjusting to a single income.
And we are still feeling the stress of it. Seven and a half months later, I’m not sure that we are past the emotional strain and challenges that Kathryn’s loss placed on us. But we are sticking it out, and holding on tight, and trying our best to move forward as a happy little family of five (SIX I want to SCREAM out!!!) and coping the best that we can.
My husband was my rock through the most difficult 6 months of my life. For five weeks he visited me every day in the hospital, even while going to work and taking care of our four year old and 18 month old. Then he stayed by Kathryn’s side for two days, waiting, watching, praying for her numbers to improve, for them to give us good news. He supported me. And for the next three months, visited our surviving twin, Tiny, every day, with the exception of maybe 3 or 4 days, each evening after work. He is an amazing man, and I am lucky to have him.
Some days that is hard to remember… all marriages have their ups and downs. So this post is more for me. A reminder to me when the days aren’t so rosy. I love you JD and couldn’t have survived the last year without you.
Karen says
July 26, 2012 at 4:36 pmYou are both so lucky to have each other. It can’t be easy but you are an inspiration to keep on going, no matter what ends up in your path!
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
July 30, 2012 at 10:14 amThe challenges you have endured are life altering – it makes sense that you may experience some struggles in your marriage at times too. And when we are angry at the things we can’t (or couldn’t control) sometimes we take that out on those we care about most. What’s positive is that you are always trying to remember the good and reflect which is what will carry you through and in time, it will improve.
Kat Biggie says
July 30, 2012 at 1:18 pmThank you Karen and Nicole for your kind words. as they say, time heals everything, right??