I’m getting ahead of myself!
A few years ago, before we were trying for our 3rd child (which became 3rd and 4th!) I had the strangest dream. Although I do not remember the details as clearly as I did, the gist of it is this. I was in a very dark garden and I had my two children with me and another baby (maybe two, I can’t remember if that is a true detail or something my mind has added after the fact) that I didn’t recognize. I was fighting evil spirits. Not in a “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” kind of way, but we were just being relentlessly attacked by these evil spirits, and I was battling them to keep them away from my children. I just kept fighting and fighting, until I just felt like it would never end.
So I started to give up. I remember thinking “I can never win this, why am I fighting?”
And just as I almost completely stopped fighting, I heard the message. “Don’t give up. Dark times are ahead, but do not give up on your faith.” So, with a renewed energy, I continued to fight. And with a new support, I won.
It was the strangest dream, and at the time, I had absolutely no idea what it meant. I thought maybe I was feeling guilty because I had not been taking my children to church on a regular basis, and I did not feel as though I was giving them the spiritual upbringing that I promised to do through the sacrament of Baptism.
But later down the road, after losing Kathryn and I, lost in my grief, teetered on the edge of severe depression, I was reminded of the dream. Could it have been a premonition? A visit from an angel or even a message from God? A forewarning that even through tough times, HE has my back?
I don’t know, I suppose I’ll never know. But it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it. And wondering…
Have you ever had a dream that, in hindsight, you believe was some sort of premonition?
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