I have some exciting news! I banded together with 28 other grieving mothers and 3 dads and we wrote, what I think, is an amazing book for grieving mothers. It’s called Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother.
But you don’t have to be a mother to read it. It is good for anyone to see into the minds and souls of a grieving mother, and if you help or support grieving mothers, it is a great book to read. We also have a chapter dedicated to fathers.
The book is set up by TIPS (It is a Survival Guide after all.) The tips are designed to help you through different elements and stages of your grief, give you pointers on things you can do or say, and overall, just offer you hope, encouragement, and the support of 30+ other grieving parents.
Christina Russo-Sporer, creator of the TTTS Support Team, is also a contributing author, in addition to several other TTTS moms, like Tova-Ms. Muchness-Gold. Our plan is to seek donations so that we can provide this book to be sent out in the TTTS care packages, as well as to other bereavement services. Please contact me if you would be interested in purchasing books (at a reduced rate) to have donated to the TTTS Support Team or another organization.
Here is a quick excerpt:
Isolation is a common theme reiterated throughout this book. You will find many ideas repeated over and over throughout the book. This is because no matter how different our actual experience was, we have all experienced many of the same emotions: isolation, shame for our emotions, guilt, awkwardness, anger, a feeling of insignificance, a sense of failure, and so forth. Many of the contributors state that they had the impression after their loss that there was no one who understood their pain.
Until they came across another grieving mother.
When another mother who has suffered this same loss offers words of encouragement, the words carry a different weight entirely. It is almost as if there is an invisible thread that connects grieving mothers. In fact, many of the women in this book became “insta-friends” of mine solely because of the bond that we share from our losses. Our connections have only grown stronger, particularly as we planned how to best serve other grieving mothers.
We have all come to the same overall conclusion. Our lives changed because of our loss. We are different. And we are surrounded by an army of mothers who know and understand these emotions and welcome us with open arms.
Into the club you never wanted to join, but paid the highest dues.
It’s also a club made up of the most genuine and supportive members you will ever know. One of the neatest things about writing this book was the interaction with all of these contributors in our secret Facebook group. Not only did we carefully and thoughtfully decide what and whom to include in this book, we shared personal stories and comforted each other. We encouraged each other. We hope to duplicate this effort as you read this book. And if you want to interact, we invite you to join our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/SunshineAftertheStorm.
Grief is messy, grief is individual, and grief cannot be put on a timetable or expected to follow any “rules.” Although no one can magically get you beyond your grief and you do have to find your way through this muck, you do not have to do it on your own. Knowing that circumstances vary so greatly and not all of these tips will be applicable to every person, you can read this book straight through, or you can choose to read the sections that you feel are most applicable. Most of these stories could be included under multiple tips, but I tried to find the stories that fit best to illustrate the points we are trying to make.
Alexa Bigwarfe from the Introduction to the book
The book is available on Amazon: Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother
You may also visit our website for Sunshine After the Storm, where we have set up groups for community and discussion. We also provide posts for encouragement and hope. We hope to let all grieving parents know that there will be sunshine after the storm.