TTTS Survivor Yes, she is. She fought hard to be here, and she deserves every moment of joy this life can bring her. My girls, Kathryn and Charis were born on December 10, 2011. One day after my 35th birthday. Two days later, Kathryn, who had severe hydrops and congenital heart disease caused by the […]
The Other Side
My Joy Has a Twin Named Grief Happy Blogiversary to No Holding Back But it’s not necessarily happy for me, rather, shrouded in grief. One year ago today I published my first “real” blog post on No Holding Back, entitled 6 Months Ago Today. This post details the day that we lost one of our […]
TTTS Awareness
I am following a theme of eco-friendly, green living, and recycling this week in honor of Earth Day, so I’m recycling some TTTS Awareness posts and images. The following information is copied directly from the American Pregnancy Association. Does the mother have any signs of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome? A mother whose twins have […]
TTTS Tuesday – Zachary and Alex’s Story
As is the case with any of the TTTS moms I have become friends with, I met Wendy through the TTTS Grief Support Group, or maybe it was the Survivors with Guardian Angels. Either way, we both lost one twin and got to take one twin home. Wendy has taken her story and written a […]
A Little History About No Holding Back
I used to use Blogger, which is where I started my blog at www.noholdingback1212.com. That was a great platform to start on but I am ready to move on to bigger things! I’m so happy you have followed me over! This is one of my very first posts where I told the world who I […]
Surviving the Winds of Change
Do we ever get over infant loss? Big green eyes look at me curiously as I stare off into space, daydreaming of the little girl I see in my dreams. Her long brown hair blows in the wind as she romps around a field of daisies, waving at me and smiling! “Hi Mommy!” she calls […]
Black Friday
Tweet#grief, #babyloss, #TTTS September 28,2012I wrote this post a few days ago, in anticipation of this day. I have had a rough week, knowing that these awful one year markers were about to begin. I thought about not posting this, because it is dark and angry, although it ends on a lighter note. I wondered […]
The Dreaded “Year of Firsts”
We all have ways of measuring things, passing time, marking key events. When you go through something as horrific as TTTS and infant loss, or the loss of anyone you love, there are so many dates, events, memories. When it was diagnosed, when we had procedures, when the babies were born. When Kathryn died. I dreaded […]
6 Months Ago Today…
At 8:53pm tonight, it will be exactly six months since I held my beautiful Kathryn as she took her last breaths and returned to God. There’s not one second of any day that I don’t think about her and miss her, that I don’t feel cheated out of something, that I don’t wish that I […]
