Today, August 19th, is the 5th Annual “Day of Hope.” This day to honor and celebrate babies and children lost was begun by CarlyMarie and Project Heal in 2008. Visit CarlyMarie’s facebook page for a wide variety of banners, cover and profile images for infant, baby, pregnancy, and child loss.
CarlyMarie Day of Hope
Carly Marie began Project Heal after losing her son Christian. She makes the most beautiful butterflies on the beach in Australia, Christian’s Beach, for other mothers who have lost. It is amazing how healing these butterflies are!
Kathryn’s butterflies:
Day of Hope
Aren’t they beautiful? I feel hopeful just looking at them!
Carly Marie says we will never stop grieving because we will never stop loving. That love and grief are forever linked, forever intertwined. It is so true. Yet it often feels like our society does not allow us the time to grieve or want mothers to talk about their losses. The timeline for “getting over it” seems exceptionally short.
I only had my Kathryn for 30 weeks 5 days in the womb, and 2 days in the NICU. In those 52 hours, she changed my life, changed my world. I will always, always miss her and love her. My sweet angel baby. My sweet half of a whole, leaving behind her twinless twin.
On this Day of Hope I am here to be a megaphone for loss moms. Whether they were four weeks pregnant or their child was 32 when they died, their child is forever gone. Their hearts are forever broken. They will always grieve because they will always love.
That is the bond of motherhood.
We do not grieve because we want pity or need attention. We grieve because a monumental piece of our heart and soul has left us, for the time being at least. And that is not a pain that will ever go away.
“There is, I am convinced, no picture that conveys in all its dreadfulness, a vision of sorrow, despairing, remediless, supreme. If I could paint such a picture, the canvas would show only a woman looking down at her empty arms.”-Charlotte Bronte
If you have lost a pregnancy, an infant, or a child, today is our Day of Hope. A day that we can talk about our loss and break the silence!
Do you have a story to share?
If you’ve written about a loss, please share the link!
I dedicate this post to all loss moms, but especially to my Pastor Ruth, who recognizes the fourth anniversary of her adult son’s death this week. He was not a baby, but he was her baby.
xoxo
Alexa
Sarah says
August 19, 2013 at 7:39 amThose photos are absolutely stunning! You are so right about how we expect people to move on from grief so quickly, without realizing all the pain they are going through. Thanks for sharing this.
katbiggie says
August 19, 2013 at 7:40 amThank you Sarah!
Jenna says
August 19, 2013 at 7:44 amThank you.
I was told after our early miscarriage — between 6 and 7 weeks — that I didn’t deserve to be so sad because it was so early, because it was a surprise pregnancy after our first son, because other people had it worse. I struggle with my place in all of it because of the words that were flung at me. They still sting.
Thank you.
katbiggie says
August 19, 2013 at 7:54 amI am so sorry Jenna. People say such mean and hurtful things! So sorry for your loss. The baby was still your baby and you deserve to grieve as any other mother would. xoxo
Janine Huldie says
August 19, 2013 at 8:01 amI still love those photos and seriously they are gorgeous. I know they can’t bring back your little girl, but just a wonderful project. I am thinking of you today more then ever!!
katbiggie says
August 19, 2013 at 9:21 amThank you Janine! You are such a sweet and supportive friend!
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:36 amYou are such a sweet and supportive friend Janine! I heart you! 🙂
The Dose of Reality says
August 19, 2013 at 8:20 amBeautiful post. I certainly hope that everyone grieving a loss today will feel the virtual love from here.-Ashley
katbiggie says
August 19, 2013 at 9:20 amThank you! I hope so too!
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:35 amThank you Ashley. Thank you for being so supportive of these posts.
Christine at More Than Mommies says
August 19, 2013 at 8:43 amHere is my post about my loss: http://morethanmommies.net/2012/05/letters-to-my-younger-self-the-club-no-one-wants-to-join.html
katbiggie says
August 19, 2013 at 9:20 amThank you so much for sharing! I didn’t know and I am sorry for your loss!
Chris Carter says
August 19, 2013 at 10:21 amOh ALexa… my heart is just so heavy for you and for all of those precious hearts that will always have a piece of their heart gone and in Heaven. I will continue to pray for all of the lives that have been traumatized by such a loss.
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:34 amThank you Chris. I took it as it was meant to be – a Day of HOPE, and it was actually a very peaceful day for me. I felt my Kathryn all around me!
Rachel @ Architecture of a Mom says
August 19, 2013 at 12:42 pmHey Alexa, I’ve had this post in my drafts for a while now, and I thank you for giving me the nudge to go ahead and post it. I hope I don’t offend anyone by my thoughts on loss: http://www.architectureofamom.com/2013/08/my-thoughts-on-miscarriage-stillbirth.html
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:34 amI am so glad you shared that! So sorry for your loss Rachel. And there was nothing you said that I thought was even slightly offensive! 🙂
Tamara says
August 19, 2013 at 12:49 pmThis post and her photos are so beautiful. I think I know her site, from various friends who have experienced baby loss. Thinking of you and everyone on this day.
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:33 amThank you Tamara! Yes, her sand art and photos are absolutely amazing. Her gallery is just incredible! And they truly feel my heart with peace!
Leah Elizabeth Locklear says
August 19, 2013 at 1:18 pmThis is beautiful and touching. Though I have never and pray I never have to face such a mountain in my life. I could never imagine the loss of my child. My heart and prayers go out to any mother that has to learn to move forward and continue on without their child. The pictures and drawings in the sand are breathtaking! So gorgeous! I am also sharing the link on the womans story I shared on my own blog. Telling the story of her own loss and how she overcame! Thanks for sharing! ~Leah~
http://cutiepieclothes.com/blog/2013/02/13/409/
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:32 amThank you Leah. I appreciate your kind words and your efforts in helping to break the silence for grieving mothers!
another jennifer says
August 19, 2013 at 8:48 pmThose butterflies are amazing. What a wonderful tribute. I don’t quite understand why society expects mothers to just move on. Our children are a part of us. My heart goes out to all those that have lost a child, especially you Alexa! I am always in awe of the platform you are creating for grieving mothers.
katbiggie says
August 20, 2013 at 7:31 amThank you so very much Jennifer. I hope that one day women who have lost children will be able to grieve and talk about it without feeling like people are weirded out or think we’re crazy for not moving on! 🙂