Melissa was so sweet when she sent me her story. She said that March 5th is the boys 6th birthday, and if I could, it would mean a lot to have their story today. Of COURSE I could! A bittersweet birthday, one here, one in heaven, but we celebrate both boys!
What struck me when I opened up her story was that the ultrasound picture that she has is almost EXACTLY the same as one that I have of my girls… heads right next to each other, just hanging out! I felt immediately bonded to Melissa. Her story is an amazing story of faith and love.
Please wish Micah and Spencer (angel) a Happy 6th Birthday as you read their story, written by their mother, Melissa.
Micah and Spencer
But what if- what if the doctors were wrong? Can we really handle letting him go? We just didn’t know. We felt like either way we decided would be okay: not right or wrong. And so, not wanting to wait, and then go through all of this again, we made the decision to let him go. And we went to visit him, and we were again unsure. He looked like there was nothing wrong (other than prematurity), so my wise husband said, “If we don’t know for sure, then we should wait to make a decision.” And so we did. That night we told our three older boys that Spencer was very sick, and had gone home to Heavenly Father and Jesus. We had made an effort beforehand to teach them about God, and when we were first diagnosed, about heaven. The next morning the doctor called for permission to perform a simple procedure (having to do with his IV), I felt like if we were going to let him go it would be pointless. I looked at my husband and said, I think we need to stick to our original game plan, if he gets worse we’ll let him go, if not we hold on. He agreed.
On the weekends, we would go home to give my children a sense of normalcy and so we could be together. We would go to church Sunday, and then my husband would drive down to spend a few hours with Micah and then come back. Then on Monday, we would do it all over again. My in-laws would usually go in on Saturday so Micah had someone visit him every day. He was on the ventilator for six weeks. It was just over six weeks before I was able to hold my baby in my arms, outside of the incubator. He was on CPAP for two weeks after that, and when he made it to oxygen, it was discovered he had hydrocephalus and had to have brain surgery to place a catheter and a tube draining the fluid his brain couldn’t absorb due to his brain bleeds from his brain to his abdominal cavity. He was just two months old, and still six weeks shy of his due date.
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