Grief comes in seasons…
There is that first season, that seems like it will never, ever end.
Then it gradually fades into less frequent, and usually less predictable, moments of pain and sadness.
Then the weird stuff happens. Like guilt. You begin to wonder if it’s OKAY to actually be happy. If you’re somehow being disloyal to the child you lost by no longer grieving them every.single.day.
Then there are the triggers.
Oh the triggers. Anytime someone else loses a child. Anytime I see twins. When I hear of someone pregnant with twins… it’s all like a stab to the heart. But, the dagger seems to be getting smaller.
I can tell you one thing for certain. You’ll never forget them. They will never leave your thoughts and your heart. But there WILL be a time when you don’t mourn daily, when you don’t cry monthly, when you smile almost as much as you did before.
But when it comes to it, I think that’s probably why I make Kathryn SO MUCH of my daily life. I can’t stand the thought of losing her forever. That fear is always there. That perhaps I’ll wake up one day and not even remember.
I know that’s a silly fear. But still…
I have embedded my sweet daughter in my life, and created a legacy of hope in her name and memory. I have been talking about this a LOT lately.
I was recently interviewed on a podcast called Voices of Vision. This podcast airs on Monday, March 5, 2018. We talk a lot about my journey, how it started with the girls’ diagnoses of TTTS, moving into Kathryn’s death and our NICU journey. How the stillbirth of my friend’s daughter led to the writing of Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother… and how that led to the nonprofit, my business, Write|Publish|Sell and the publishing house I started. Kat Biggie Press. Named after Kathryn Bigwarfe. What a legacy my publishing business carries. And because of that, we publish stories of inspiration, self-help, transformation, and books that are making the world a better place.
I’m still healing. I’ll always be healing. The loss of a child never just goes away.
But it gets easier.
And it will get easier for you too.
Hugs to you mama, if you’re reading this and feel like you’ll never be better.
I promise you, you will.
Do something in memory of your baby. Do something to help other people. It’s amazing how much it helps.
Holding you in my heart.
And if you’re looking for more ways to heal, I encourage you to check out my friend Kate Butler’s program, Pathway to Miracles.
Learn the 37 ways you are blocking miracles and how you can unlock the pathway to miracles instead!
Yup, that’s right, for a little over $10 a day, you will be on a journey that teaches you how to receive INFINITE MIRACLES. Pretty amazing, eh?
So you can either join us and be happy, free and successful OR you can spend your $10 on the unicorn drink each morning…the choice is yours! : )
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