You’ve come a long way baby

2016 was a tough year for many people.

We lost a lot of people we loved and admired.

Many cried over what was a devastating election result.

We watched from afar as children died in bombings, helpless to do anything to save them.

There was pain, there was fear.

Gun violence continued to grow, mass shootings, and craziness occurred. We learned that our country is FAR from beyond horrific racism and sexism. The UGLY came out everywhere.

In my own life, I went through what can only be described as a mid-life crisis. I dyed my hair purple, and then pink. I went through a period of horrible depression, that became exceptionally clear to me when my six-year-old daughter asked me, “Mommy, are you going to cry EVERY day?” (Side note – I tried to wean myself off of my anti-depressants and really lost my shit. Some of us NEED them, and that’s okay.”

I made some questionable decisions and bad investments of both time, money, and emotions.

I left the church, but found spirituality like never before.

I experienced profound heartache, but grew from it.

My father’s health continued to decline. But he’s still with us.

I celebrated the 5th birthday of my surviving twin while grieving the 5th anniversary of her sister’s death. I acknowledged that it’s okay to love her and miss her while still moving forward.

I drank a LOT of wine.

I wanted to run away from everything and everyone.

I made mistakes, many of them.

I cried. A LOT.

But throughout the process, I learned to truly love ME.

During this time frame, some really darn good stuff happened too.

I laughed. I loved. I danced. I sang. I lived.

I begrudgingly turned 40. And was showered with love by the people I love the most.

It took 40 years, and one really emotional year of ups and downs, but I think I finally found myself. Through the ups and downs, twists and turns, tears and heartache, I realized that I am freaking amazing. (And I also learned that it’s OK to love yourself and find yourself amazing!)

My best friend and soul mate took a week off from work and flew over from France for a surprise visit.

I made new friends, found a tribe that gets me, reconnected with some friends from my past, and said goodbye to some relationships that did not benefit me.

My husband and a group of our friends spent an incredible week in Costa Rica.

I continued to raise three amazing, wonderful, smart, kind, beautiful little people.

Photo courtesy of the wonderful Framed by Amanda

I completely healed my knee after having surgery in December 2015, and eliminated almost all of my Lupus symptoms through eliminating gluten and eating clean (whenever possible!).

I attended the wonderful wedding of my dear friend Lisa, and got to spend a fun, child-free weekend in Washington, D.C. with one of my besties, Megan.

With amazing mentorship and coaching, I grew my business, Write.Publish.Sell (under Kat Biggie Press) 1000%.

I launched an author coaching program and am helping other writers bring their writing dreams to life.

I published some books for debut authors, Jacob Longe and Samantha Munoz.

I published my own book – Never the Same: Families Forever Changed by Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, full of stories and a peak into the life of families affected by TTTS.

I interviewed a crap ton of amazing moms and shared stories of motherhood and surviving the struggle of the juggle on the Lose the Cape podcast.

I supported many grieving moms (with helps from friends and supporters) by sending over 30 packages filled with love. And I came to the conclusion that it’s time to pass the torch. While I love supporting others, I realized that reliving that pain through others kept me in a place that I don’t want to be. So it is with both sadness and hope, I close that chapter of my life.

Life is what you manifest, people. Focus on the good, and the good will come back to you. I promise.

So for 2017 I’ll tell myself this: “Love a lot. Laugh a lot. LIVE a lot. And when you’re down, just remember, you’ve come a long way, baby.”

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katbiggie

Freelance writer at Kat Biggie Press

Alexa B, who blogs as "Kat Biggie" is a wife, mother, and writer. She has three children and one in heaven. She recently self published a book entitled "Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother" which is available on Amazon. She blogs about life after the loss of one of her twin daughters to TTTS, motherhood, all things parenting, advocacy, grief support and social good.

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