I attended my monthly grief support group last night. It was an emotional evening. More so than usual. We had several new people at the meeting and we all shared our stories. These women encourage and inspire me. Some of them have been through so much, with as many as 5 losses. Some had early […]
The Other Side
My Joy Has a Twin Named Grief Happy Blogiversary to No Holding Back But it’s not necessarily happy for me, rather, shrouded in grief. One year ago today I published my first “real” blog post on No Holding Back, entitled 6 Months Ago Today. This post details the day that we lost one of our […]
Return to Zero
Friends, any of you who frequent my blog know that I lost an infant, Kathryn, two days after birth. If you’ve visited recently, you know that recently a friend of mine delivered her full term baby stillborn, which prompted me to write my post on helping a friend survive the first year after pregnancy or […]
How to Help a Friend Survive the First Year after Pregnancy or Infant Loss
Surviving Infant Loss Watching a friend suffer the loss of a child or baby is one of the most difficult situations you may ever encounter in life. Surviving infant loss is one of the most worst experiences a mother can go through. Loss and death combined with what is typically a positive, joyous occasion puts […]
Breathless
The last few weeks have left me breathless. I have hardly had time to sit at my computer (thank goodness for pre-scheduled posts!) and I am so sorry to my friends who have commented and have been left rudely ignored! I am reading them and loving you for taking the time to make such sweet […]
Surviving the Winds of Change
Do we ever get over infant loss? Big green eyes look at me curiously as I stare off into space, daydreaming of the little girl I see in my dreams. Her long brown hair blows in the wind as she romps around a field of daisies, waving at me and smiling! “Hi Mommy!” she calls […]
Will I Ever Be Content?
I have been struggling a lot this last week. I don’t know why. Nothing in particular has triggered it, that I can think of beyond the fact that I miss my baby girl so, so much. I have so very much to be thankful for, yet I am not content. I want FOUR children. […]
Oh Christmas Bush
The worst day of my life was December 21, 2011. One year ago today was my infant daughter Kathryn’s funeral. I dreaded the moment in which we all acknowledged that she was gone forever. All of my husband’s family had arrived the night before. And even though I was happy they were there, I did […]
Always With You
Who doesn’t love a good quote from Winnie the Pooh? “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with […]
While Others Stand Still (TTTS Tuesday – Andrea)
Grief is a funny thing. Not ha ha funny, obviously, but in the way it impacts us. My loyal readers know that I am no stranger to grief, having lost my own daughter one year ago on the 12th. So when this absolutely mindblowing and incomprehensible act happened on the 14th, I was already in […]
Words To Say When A Baby Dies
If you’re here, you’re probably struggling for the right words to say when a baby dies… My first exposure to “baby loss” occurred in April 2005. Friends of mine, Anja and Corey, were expecting their first baby. She was a week overdue, and noticed she felt no movement. They went into the hospital on a Friday […]
For Love of Kathryn
Tweet#babyloss I just made my first donation of Teeny Tiny Diapers to Teeny Tears. What an amazing project this is! Teeny Tears is a service organization that makes tiny diapers for preemies that are stillborn or die shortly after birth, because most of them are too small for even the smallest diapers. Find out more […]
The Dreaded “Year of Firsts”
We all have ways of measuring things, passing time, marking key events. When you go through something as horrific as TTTS and infant loss, or the loss of anyone you love, there are so many dates, events, memories. When it was diagnosed, when we had procedures, when the babies were born. When Kathryn died. I dreaded […]
6 Months Ago Today…
At 8:53pm tonight, it will be exactly six months since I held my beautiful Kathryn as she took her last breaths and returned to God. There’s not one second of any day that I don’t think about her and miss her, that I don’t feel cheated out of something, that I don’t wish that I […]
