My son has always been hyper.
For many years I just chocked it up to him being a little boy.
Until the day I was talking with another mom of little boys at church and I asked her at what age her boys settled down. She said, “My sons were never like him.” She did not mean it in a horrible way, and I could tell she felt bad as soon as she said it. It didn’t upset me because I knew exactly what she meant. I could see it. I had seen it.
For many years, I knew that there was more to the story than him just “being a little boy.”
I was terrified of labeling him. I didn’t want to make excuses for his behavior or blame it on something that it wasn’t.
I believed it when people told me his behavior was related to my parenting skills… or lack there-of.
I read this post at Writer Mom’s Blog the other day. “Getting A Diagnosis For My Son has Made me a Better Parent.” It made me feel so much better about it. And why is there such a stigma around seeking out a diagnosis of this sort? Why does everyone believe we just want to medicate our children? Medication is the last thing I want if it’s not necessary, but if it can help my son, I’m interested.
I sat with my son to help with his homework tonight. I had to redirect him no less than 15 times to do 20 problems. It was a computer based homework program. The problems that I watched over his shoulder, he did well. I was shocked when it scored him a 9/20 correct. He’s not dumb. He knows and understands these basic math concepts of counting by 10s. It was not difficult homework. My heart hurt seeing that grade.
Worse than him being labeled ADHD, I don’t want him to be labeled “stupid” or “lazy.” Because I know how smart he is. And I know how hard he works at things that keep his attention.
I understand how difficult it is for him to focus, because I am the same way. The more I observe him and read about ADD/ADHD, the more convinced I am that I also suffer from this. Perhaps this is why I have 5 blogs.
So, we’ve filled out the paperwork to have him evaluated. I felt guilty as I filled out the forms. For many reasons. Guilty that I hadn’t followed my mother’s intuition long ago, guilty that I allowed my concern over what others thought guide me more than my own instinct as a mom, and part of me even felt like I was giving up on him and me and our ability to figure it out together.
But ADHD is not something you can just figure out on your own. We need help. We need resources.
I want to be able to enjoy my sweet little boy, and right now, I want to lock him in a closet (not really) – and it’s to difficult to be patient with him.
Who wouldn’t love this guy?
So our journey now begins.