I have been struggling a lot this last week. I don’t know why. Nothing in particular has triggered it, that I can think of beyond the fact that I miss my baby girl so, so much. I have so very much to be thankful for, yet I am not content. I want FOUR children. […]
Awkward…
I have always been a bit socially awkward. Not weird, just unpolished. I often stick my foot in my mouth or I blurt out things without thinking. Basically I have no filter. Oh and I have a very strange laugh when I’m nervous. Since losing an infant, this problem has grown worse. Now I make […]
Oh Christmas Bush
The worst day of my life was December 21, 2011. One year ago today was my infant daughter Kathryn’s funeral. I dreaded the moment in which we all acknowledged that she was gone forever. All of my husband’s family had arrived the night before. And even though I was happy they were there, I did […]
While Others Stand Still (TTTS Tuesday – Andrea)
Grief is a funny thing. Not ha ha funny, obviously, but in the way it impacts us. My loyal readers know that I am no stranger to grief, having lost my own daughter one year ago on the 12th. So when this absolutely mindblowing and incomprehensible act happened on the 14th, I was already in […]
Blogger Day of Silence for Sandyhook
We are also raising money that will go to an organization in the memory of this tragedy. The organization is called The Newtown Family Youth and Family Services. Here is the official description of the support service we are donating to: “Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic and […]
Are You Afraid To Forget Them? Guest Post
Today I am very excited to feature a Guest Post from Tova Gold. I came across Tova on Facebook through several different TTTS groups I am a part of, and was immediately drawn in by her absolute positive outlook on life and her desire to be happy and full of life, despite losing both of […]
52 Hours
Two days ago (December 10th) was my twins’ first Birthday. Only one of them was here for us to celebrate with. Today is the one year anniversary of sweet Kathryn’s death. We had her in our world for 52 hours. I am struggling greatly to find the balance between gratefulness, happiness, and grief so strong […]
Shutting Down – my 100th post
This is my 100th post. Yay! Pop the champagne! Very appropriately it is true to the overall nature of my blog. Surviving after the loss of a child. I wrote this a few days ago but I am glad I did not post it then. I was having a REALLY BAD DAY! Thankfully, the […]
Words To Say When A Baby Dies
If you’re here, you’re probably struggling for the right words to say when a baby dies… My first exposure to “baby loss” occurred in April 2005. Friends of mine, Anja and Corey, were expecting their first baby. She was a week overdue, and noticed she felt no movement. They went into the hospital on a Friday […]
Off the Reservation
Over the next few weeks, you may all think that I have gone completely “off the reservation” as the saying goes. That’s me folks. I think I’m driving the crazy train, losing my marbles, wigging out… every used up cliche you can think of. Muddled up. Please don’t “mute” me, I’m just working my way […]
Day 17
On Thanksgiving Day last year, November 24, 2011, I had been lying in a hospital bed for 17 days, hoping and praying that my babies would be able to continue to grow stronger. It was lonely. I slept most of the day, in and out of a groggy state, wondering how much longer I would […]
Book Review – Growing Up in Heaven
Growing Up in Heaven: The Eternal Connection Between Parent and Child by James Van Praagh My rating: 2 of 5 stars I decided to buy and read this book because it had been recommended by numerous people as a great book for a grieving parent. It was not a great book for this grieving parent. […]
Bigger
My bleep is bigger than yours. I used to really like the band Korn. Ok, I’m not gonna lie. I still really like the band Korn, but I just don’t allow myself to listen to their music with little ears around. But lately, there has been this one line of one particular song that is […]
No Antidote
November 8th. One year ago today I was anxiously awaiting my weekly appointment to see Dr. Browne. I was just over 26 weeks pregnant with the girls, and the week before had not been a good appointment. I reflected on what the doctor had told us at the last appointment. Kathryn was getting worse each […]
